Favorite Albums of 2012 - Number 1

I find that I contemplate my mortality more as I get older. I understand that is not a unique proposition but it is there. Most times I think on it and understand there is nothing I can do about it, that it is inevitable, that we all must face it, that we do the best we can to be ready. I do not believe one can face it without regrets; regrets are a part of life and being human. What we can do is remember those regrets but not let them hold us back.

Sometimes though, usually when I am awake at night, I have an overwhelming fear of this unknown. So much that I pace the floor and do all I can to stop from crying out. It is an immense void. As someone who was brought up Catholic, went to parochial schools, and spent 4 years at a Jesuit prep school, I find myself now with a shattered faith. The concept of an all powerful and all seeing god simply does not resonate to me anymore. I do not believe in any afterlife. I believe that the life we have is the one life we have, that there is not a heaven or hell waiting for us. We are here not for a higher purpose but simply because we are here. And that we must do everything we can to cherish all the moments and all the people we come in contact with, because even though there have been so many of us, are so many, and will be so many more, we are still the only one of us, and are special beyond words in that regard.

Anathema - Weather Systems

Anathema are a progressive rock band from England. Their latest record is Weather Systems. And I bring up the concept of mortality because in this record Anathema confront it through some of the most beautiful music I have ever heard. The interplay of acoustic and electric guitars with piano and string and the vocals of the Cavanagh brothers and Lee Helen Douglas, when coupled to the themes of facing life and death both and ultimately of accepting it and the gift life is, it makes for some heavy listening. Anathema do not approach it heavy handed or with fakeness; the record to me at least is a wonderful reminder of the power of music, the beauty of music, and how music can touch you to the core. Songs like "Lightning Song" bring tears to my eyes, even after the 20th listening.

I do not know what happens when we die. Anathema do not know either. But what I do hope for is that whatever happens, mother nature will take care of us, accept us back where we came from, and I hope makes us part of whatever grand plan she has. Maybe that is God; maybe that is enough to believe in.

The only way to appreciate this record is front-to-back, but here is the aforementioned "Lightning Song" in case you want to take a listen. I recommend it as a voyage well worth taking.

To all my loved ones and friends and to everybody out there, I wish you the Merriest of Christmas. To you and yours, nothing but the best.